I have been reading a lot about Quantum Mechanics, String Theory and Grand Unifying Theories. These are all awesome! Now I can not only understand the universe with great accuracy but understanding the mysteries of my life is a snap! In here I detail how it all works in case you also want to learn from the universe.
“Visit My Website Worm Hole”
I am continuously telling my friends to visit my web site. I also placed a huge magnetic sticker on the back of my pickup truck. Since I live in Dallas, Texas, and go through two traffic jams a day, I am guessing a few hundred thousand folks must have read my website address by now. Curiously, the amount of visits is very low! How could this be?
I have finally theorized that www.avayan.com contains the exact number of pixels or ink necessary to form a micro worm hole that suck those mouse clicks that would have yielded a positive visit to my web site. As a result, said space time continuum alteration causes a massive blast of X-Rays and antimatter that morphs adjacent neural nets into believing the visit did take place. Humans experiencing the “www.avayan.com worm hole syndrome” (better known as WACWHoS) will be convinced that they entered the web site but it was empty, hence there is little reason to return.
“Super Nova Wakeup Radiation”
I get up at 5:00 AM so that I can go into the gym and then to work. I have been doing this for months (like it matters), but I still get sleepy during the day. Now, I thought that if I could go to bed at 9:00 PM, then I could sleep 8 hours and feel refreshed next day. However, as I lay back at 9:00 PM, it takes me around 2 hours to fall sleep (unless it is Friday and I am on a party having tons of fun).
I have been trying to get my body accustomed by getting up at 5:00 AM even on Saturday and Sunday mornings, but it does not work. As a result I am sleepy at work, while I drive, exercise, eat, go to the bathroom, go to meetings, work on my computer, on my music, on my writings (like right now!), or my comic strip. Sleepiness goes away precisely at 8:59 PM!
And the reason is the dark matter filled radiation from supernovas. Now, we must realize that there are billions and billions of stars on the Universe (heck, on our galaxy alone there are billions of them!!!). Considering that the universe is about 10 billion years old, all we need is at least 3,650 billions of stars and one of them being massive enough to blow up like a Nova on a per day basis. Obviously, the universe has much more than this. Hence, so many stars going Nova must be why I loose my sleep at 8:59 PM and can only sleep 6 hours, although my body clearly asks for eight during day time.
Is it possible that all stars go Nova at exact the same time? It makes very little sense! But physics helps us understand this mystery once again. Because all Novas do not need to blow to kingdom come at the same time. Remember that all stars are at different distances from my brain. Hence all I need to loose sleep is that the star be spaced at the right distance necessary for the frigging blast of dark matter and radiation to hit me exactly at 8:59 PM, as it travels at the speed of light. Also remember that the Super Nova blast that will hit me today clearly comes from hundreds of light years away, so said explosion must have taken place a very long time ago, but precisely at the moment in time needed to screw my sleep tonight.
Most people would have to say that the odds against such a thing are ridiculously low. But remember all I need to have bad luck (and loose sleep) is that it is possible. Because there are six billion human beings, all located at different spots on the planet, the chances that said occurrence is to be perceived on this life time, grow larger. I am it!
