We live in a world where everybody needs to work if we want a roof to cover our big butts, some food to chew and get fatter with, a car to burn some expensive fuel (so that we can get to work), and some other gadgets vital to erase the bad memory of having to go to work on a daily basis. Well… I take it back! Not everybody needs to work. Some lazy bastards choose to stay home and live from someone else’s hard earned income, getting paid for having their ass sewn to their coach while they eat potato chips. They are called Coach Potatoes and although they truly look like deformed and two-legged potatoes defecating a sofa, I like to call them scum buckets of evil! Most likely, they are living out of my taxes!
All other normal human beings, us, do need to work. We look and maintain a job, so that we can have a better life. And so we say... Because this job is never the one we want! Why? Why can’t we have a dream job? Why is there a restaurant called “Thank God is Friday” and not one called Thank God is Monday? In fact, I bet I could get rich if I were to open my own food chain called “Please Kill Me, is Monday”, or PK MIM’s. Awesome name!
This would be a nice and dandy restaurant! We would only serve breakfast, and we would only open on Monday mornings. The Menu would contain dishes like “South Western Valium Roll”, a wrap filled with enough pill power to last until Thursday’s afternoon. Or my favorite, “Cyanide Oreo Shake”, which tastes like crap, but way better than getting back to work after the too short weekend.
I can not understand this phenomenon and how we allow it! Unfortunately, I have been able to see it can only get worst! Per example, I have known people that have gotten to the point in which work is so heinous they even come to hate the Friday! They will caught themselves on Friday afternoons saying “MEGA DAMN! In 48 and some hours I will have to return to work!” How can we possibly enjoy my life like this? Work is supposed to be only 40 hours out of 168 (or 23% of the week) but still it tends to make us too miserable! I do understand we should not be whining; Heck, we are getting paid!
So what is wrong? Clearly we must not like our jobs. The question is who does? OK! This is not the time to send me an email saying “Oh you poor thing, I do love my job! It is great to get up in the morning, get on a traffic jam so that I can get caged on my cube where my boss is going to ask for the stupidest things on this planet and I can get bored for 9 hours in which I truly wish I had never been born. But what can I say, I am a sadist!” I have too many emails like this, so don’t bother to clog my inbox.
What I want is a dream job! A job in which I can say “WHAT??? Is Friday at 5:00 PM already? I’ll be damn! Oh, but I can come and work on Saturday? YEEEPPPPPPIE!!!”
Instead of worrying on where the hell Saddam stored his weapons of mass destruction, which apparently we are still looking and will keep on looking until we have moved every sand pebble on the Iraqi dessert, lets get creative and come up with nice and fun to do jobs!
Per example, get us a job on the Myth Busters! Man, that looks like a lot of fun. These guys are always blowing stuff. That is what I call Engineering! Yeah Baby! Why can’t we have one of those on every state, or city? I would love to get paid for playing with gadgets, constructing rigs and blowing them up at the press of a button just to prove right or wrong whether certain moron was tricking us to believe the most nonsensical stuff. That’s a dream job!
Get me a job in Hollywood, building special effects. I am telling you, with all the stuff I have done before (fiber glass, rubber mold making, microcontroller programming, mechatronics development, machine shop, etc.) I would fit there like a mouse to a cat’s mouth. And these people are always having fun. All day long! Working on a movie set? I bet these folks can not tell Monday apart from Friday. That’s what I call a dream job.
But no! Mere mortals can not hope to get these jobs. We have to stay with the cube! Yes, the cube! Why are people worrying about dying and going to hell? Heck! It’s here! It has no door, but somehow you are always in and can never get out. Do not even dare to tell me that I get out of it every day at 5:00 PM.
That is not how it works! At 5:00 PM, my body starts to release the hormones of joy. I close my eyes and stretch my tiredness with arms open to welcome my beloved free time. But suddenly... When I reopen my eyes, it is 8:00 AM, next day! And I am inside my cube again! I am convinced I do get home eventually, because I have different clothing, but I can not remember this. The same happens Friday at 5:00 PM. It becomes Monday at 8:00 AM, in a snap!
Will I ever get my dream job? Thank God for sleep... If the cube does let me, that is...
