This is it! The end is near! For ten thousand years, the world has been ending about every five years. Planets that will crash against ours, calendars with a finite number of years, prophecies from the greatest, etc. We are screwed!!! And we are screwed even more today as I write this (Saturday June 3, 2006) because next Tuesday is the next End of the World!
I am truly pissed! Can anybody live a life with the world just ending once? I have been through planet alignments, Halley comet, Hercolubus, Year 2K and now 666. PHOCK! How unlucky can I be? This Tuesday, the world will end for me, for the fifth time. Man I am tired of this crap. I truly hope this is the last “last one”.
But there is nothing I can do. Because about two thousand years ago, a true genius came up with the most important number of all: 666. It is not important because it is a good number, but because it is bad. Some people spend their entire lives studying all the possible scenarios in which this dreaded number plays a role. And if we are careful enough to avoid getting ourselves on such messy 666 based situations, we can ensure a better life. Not that it will help us too much to have this vital piece of information, because we are only three days away from the big finale. Again!
So let us analyze why Tuesday is the end. The real one! First of all, do not think this is a coincidence. This is real! 666 is the number of the beast. If somebody wrote it, it must be true. Because paper and ink are not liars. It is impossible to write a lie or falsehood. It will immediately disintegrate thanks to the magical powers of the universe.
To make things really bad, we are now on the sixth year of the 21st century. Of course a few years ago, nobody could make their mind on whether 2000 or 2001 was the first year of the 21st century. So maybe it was 2005 the sixth year and the world ended a year ago with nobody noticing. DAMN! How could we be so careless?
But 2006 ends in 6 so it is better suited for our eternal damnation than 2005, hence I will ignore the later. To continue, you have to agree that any 12 month based year will have a sixth month, right? PHOOOOOOCK! That’s now! June is the sixth month. So far I have 2 sixes, will there be a third? Holy shit; yes there is! This Tuesday is June 6, 2006. This is the Pope’s fault for not making June a five day month. Now we are in deep shit!
Of course it could be the best way to release the next OMEN movie, which is just another piece of evidence for our tragic outcome. The release is scheduled for Monday’s midnight. Yes! They want to show it at least once, before the end of the world. I would too, if I had spent so much money.
But because I am a mathematician kind of guy. I want to know the split second at which everything we know will cease to exist. Since it seems to be time based, then the hours, minutes, seconds and split seconds must be six too, right?
Thanks to the latest GPS technology and real time report through atomic clocks orbiting our planet, now you can set your watch to ring the alarm at:
6:06:06:06:06:06:06:06:06:06:06 AM on June 6, 2006
HOLY CRAP!
What are we going to do? This is not fair! But I am a good guy, so check out my pointers to make this End Of The World, the best ever.
How to solve the End Of The World problem:
- First is about money. When the end is over, money will be useless. That is why I recommend you send it to me. Here is a link for you to deposit your riches. I promise that I will take good care of this money when the end comes. Or if it doesn’t come, I will also take good care of it. Thanks, by the way for trusting me with it.
- Second.... Hmmm I think that is about it! Thanks for the money, though!
