And so I spent another two hours watching the latest Shamalayan epic. Which by the way hosts the acclaimed director as one of the main actors. This by itself was quite impressive as it clearly shows Shamalayan has been getting acting lessons. He was an awesome director before, but his acting was worst than Yar Yan Bink in Star Wars.
The movie is undoubtedly another intent on trying to make us wonder. Of course, after the Sixth Sense, Unbreakable and Signs, we are always waiting (even long before the movie starts) “How could we possibly be tricked this time?” Hence, Shamalayan is now facing harder times as he tries to achieve surprise, an effort that has proved useless (at least for me) in the previous two installments.
And it is because although he is trying to be super-duper original, he has to face the truth. Originality was extinguished a few thousand years ago! It is my impression that he should try to do a few Barney movies for a while and then change his name. I don’t know! Maybe something like Hasbarakataramanatrakanamaran. Then he could come with a totally new movie without saying he is himself. I would wait a few decades for this ploy to work. Otherwise, I will know by yesterday how the movie from three years from now ends. I might as well save the 10 bucks said ticket will cost...
Then he has to make the movie move a little bit faster. Because they all seem like you have to think in slow motion in order not to fall sleep before the second line gets actually spoken. Plus if I am not mistaken, the word movie came from the concept of motion, right? Lets check out the word MOVIE:
MOVIE starts with an M like in MOVE
M = M
O = O
V = V
I <> x ???
E = E
Hmmm... Only one letter is different... Whatever the case, Shamalayan movies are slow like hell! I have to say that had it not been for the end, Sixth Sense would have been one of the worst movies I had ever seen. But the fact that I was tricked like a brainless monkey, has made me vow to the Shamalayan genius. Unfortunately, if I am about to guess the end long before the movie has reached half time, then he better make them better paced or I may dehydrate in the movie theater. Of course I could then sue and get rich pretty fast... I guess I will consider it! In the mean time, take a look at what I mean for slow paced movies with my emulation of a Shamalayan scene (only in audio).
