Today I paid $2.09 per gallon as I filled my Titan Truck, for a total of $45.00, instead of the more typical $66.00 I use to pay just a few months ago. Granted that squirming against such a nice change is clearly moronic in nature. Is it? I bet I am not the only one asking, how come gas went up so much and now has gone down quite a bit. Could it be that we have been tricked and for so many months made to pay an extra dollar on the gallon so that some scum buckets of evil who were already frigging rich, could get richer?
According to one of my friends, gas price is computed by means of the gas moron-retard, an estimator caged for life and whose only purpose is to signal how much should normal mortals, like you and me, be charged for fuel. Hence, every now and then, gas distributors ask the moron-retard what he thinks should be done. In pain and agony, sometimes the moron-retard starts to violently jump and scream inside the cage “Oh my God! I am scared! There could be war, petroleum could run out! What are we going to do?” Then, gas distributors interpret this powerful data into: “I think it is time to raise the price. Or we will never be richer than Bill Gates!”
I have a different theory, though. I am convinced gas price, like everything else, is a victim of supply and demand. Hence why was the gallon $3.30 a few months ago and $2.09 today? Because there is more fuel now! “How can this be?” You must be asking. However, you will find this is actually quite simple!
First of all, we must realize that fuel comes from petroleum, which in turn comes from dead animals from very long time ago, like dinosaurs. We are in luck! Because just a few decades ago, a brilliant scientist managed to clone hundreds of dinosaurs and store them on an island called Jurassic Park. We are made to believe it was just a movie, but how come gas is cheaper today than it was before?
Clearly these dinosaurs died and became petroleum just in time for us to fill our tanks today. Granted, that fossil putrefaction and petroleum formation takes thousands and thousands of years (possibly millions). But you have to understand these were not real dinosaurs, but clones! And they even had to use frog DNA. DUH! Can’t you see? And we all know that cloning techniques have not been perfectioned, as of yet, with the clones having too fast a metabolism. Which explains, why the dinosaurs became petroleum on such a short time.
Of course, you have to understand that Jurassic Park is actually very old. About a century old. We saw the movie a few decades ago, but to you actually believe making such a nice movie was a piece of cake? It took the genius of Steven Spielberg ages for completing it, giving us even more time to understand that the one hundred year dinosaur clones, did in fact became petroleum so that we could have gas priced at $2.09 per gallon, instead of $3.30.
Do understand that we will eventually run out of cloned dinosaur gas. In the mean time, if you feel your car is sputtering more than it used to, just simply be grateful the cost of gas was not that bad. Heck! It would be awful to be paying $3.30 per cloned dinosaur gas gallon!!!
